My Spiritual journey
I am a clairsentient Tarot reader, energy healer, and Oracle deck designer based in Bali.
MY TAROT JOURNEY
I was born in France and was first introduced to the Tarot as a child by
my mother that used The Tarot de Marseille. She read Tarot in an "old
school" fashion that was very focused on predictions.
While predictions happen during a reading, no one wants to hear "bad news", especially if a solution is not given. I have always been intrigued by the Tarot, but always thought there might be other ways to read the Tarot than in a strictly predictive fashion.
In 2015, I found a more modern and empowering approach taught by Brigit Esselmont of Biddy Tarot. It was focused on intuition and giving empowering messages. I took a certification course and started to read professionally shortly after.
As a clairsentient (the ability to get psychic information through sensing and feeling the energies around) I read Tarot intuitively by feeling the energy of the person and the cards.
My philosophy with Tarot is that it always reflects the current emotional
state of the person at that moment. The focus on predictions is not so much important, as I believe we always have the power to mold a different outcome by focusing more on our state of being rather than the present circumstances.
My introduction to the world of energy was linked with the world of
spirits. In my early teen years, I was raised in a house that was built
on top of an ex battlefield from WW2 in France. My home was haunted by
spirits, and I could always feel their presence. Living with spirits in
the house has made me hypersensitive to their energy. Later in life, due
to my experience in my house from my teenage years, I was
always able to tell if a place was haunted by a spirit or not. I would
feel that denser ghost "vibe" in my body. And was able to know if it wasa male or female, young or old, just by feeling their presence. It made
me aware of my clairsentience ability, the ability to have information
through physical and emotional feelings. To get better information on
those spirits, I used the Tarot to have clearer conversations with them.
And found out, it is mainly all they needed and required to move on. To
evolve into "Light", they only needed to be talked to, and told that they are dead, and that a brighter future await them if they moved on from their "stuck" ghost condition.
In my late teens, from France, I moved to San Jose, California, USA,
where I studied Fine Art and Graphic Design, and lived and worked there for 12
years. From sensitivity to spirits, I developed a sensitivity to
"Spirit" by attending many different spiritual retreats by different
teachers from many different spiritual traditions ranging from Advaita
The spiritual teacher that had the greatest impact and with whom I attended most "Satsang" (Gathering in Truth), was Adyashanti in San Jose, California. In my early twenties, while coming back from a psychedelic induced rave dance party, I went straight to one of his early morning spiritual "Satsang" meetings. There, I had a "nondual" spiritual awakening experience, and it is an experience that never left me.
While many may consider this experience the end of the spiritual journey, it was only the beginning and brought with it its own challenges.
While this nondual awakening experience was freeing, it made me even more sensitive to my environment. In my late twenties to early thirties, when I moved back to Paris to be closer to family, I was working in an Ad agency in Paris, It was a very stressful environment, with long hours and long commutes spent in a fully crowded metro. Back then, I didn't know the energy techniques that would have helped me protect and manage my energy better. After a few years, I had a burn-out, and quit that harsh environment. I then started a new job as a caretaker for mental handicaps. This new environment wasn't much less stressful but it was more meaningful. Working with mental handicaps for 6 years was a "hermit" phase in my life. I traded all the mandatory nightshifts hours from my co-workers that didn't want to work nights to have the peace of the night to enable me to "integrate" more the "Nondual" energy. I spend a long time researching and reading about spiritual teachers, and how they dealt with their own spiritual awakening experience because I still felt a divide within. An experience of vast-open space and Light in one hand, and on the other hand, still unresolved emotional issues linked with the ego, inner child wounds, past hurt, anger, anxiety, etc. It is also something I saw within many spiritual teachers during retreats I attended. They may have had very authentic spiritual experiences in one hand, but still many unresolved egoic issues on the other hand that remained hidden, or covered up.
I spent an enormous amount of time with the series of spiritual books from spiritual author Jed McKenna, that I felt best described the spiritual journey "after" awakening.
The essential core I retained from his teachings was that the "Ego" has its own path, and didn't need to be transcended with spiritual experiences but rather integrated. What we all really want essentially but that we dress up as "spiritual" is a life of "flow", "ease", a life that "feels good", and not a life that "feels bad". It is a life, he described as of a "mature" human being. A life where manifestations, synchronicities come naturally. It is all we really want and should want first spiritually, instead of pursuing enlightenment, the path of "No-Self". It is the essential philosophy behind the teachings of Abraham Hicks, and the Law of Attraction. A teacher that deeply influenced the way I read the Tarot to clients, where I focus more on how to shift emotional states to attract the outcome one wishes to create. Tarot is a tool that can help you achieve more flow.
It is during those years of working nightshifts that I reconnected with the Tarot and designed the Heart of Stars Tarot deck. Redesigning each cards, helped me integrate within the energy of the cards. Reconnecting with Tarot, the spiritual tool of my childhood, gave me a framework to reconnect with the world. I found Tarot acted as a compass for the "ego" that was shattered by the awakening experience. It helped me operate in the world more functionally.
With the Tarot, I felt I had a tool to bridge my ego-self with my "Higher self". A tool to connect and give a "voice" to the "ever-present" awakening experience with my everyday life. It acted as a bridge to the world of "Spirit". It enabled me to better connect with my spiritual guides, ancestors, deceased loved ones. It also guided me with more practical matters, and everyday life choices.
In 2015, I quit my job as a caretaker and took a job working remotely for a major tech company. Working remotely enabled me to travel all over Europe and started to read professionally while traveling.
ENERGY HEALING PATH
Ultimately, Tarot led me to move to Bali during the pandemic and to explore the world of energy. I learned more about energy by attending remotely a workshop from renowned energy worker Jeffrey Allen. I learned how to ground the "awakening experience", and have better energetic boundaries working with the chakras. I started to work with the "Light" energy of the "nondual" awakening experience and move it through the body, through different physical activity, be it dancing, painting, sports, etc. I started to blend the" Light/Nondual" energy with "Earth" energy, and use it for healing purposes. I became an energy healer.